You have to buy a ticket for this. If you wait, someone else may be foraging for your mushrooms. There is a link below.

So this is a Mushroom Foraging 101 class. I am mostly sure there will be no hallucinogenic mushrooms on this trip. Trip, see what I did there? It starts with a 30-45 minute workshop with things like identification and safety. Then the remainder of the time they cut you loose to forage for shrooms.

It is $35 bucks. If you are seeing an origami-like deer carefully folded from a dollar bill, you need to take a moment, collect yourself, and realize a buck is a dollar bill. Well, it is also a deer. They coexist with the same name, and if the origami deer is talking to you, those weren't Shiitake mushrooms in your salad.

Here is the link to the tickets.

Ticket link-Choose September 12th.

These do sell out, so get your ticket now or hallucinate that you are with us and that origami deer.

So my mind got curious. Surely there are some documented cases of people doing shrooms and hiking. Yep, there most certainly are.

A few recounts include A giant Judget angry owl. They do seem like they can be judgey. Turns out it was a large rotting pine cone.

A Melting Mountain range that looked like a giant scoop of cookies-and-cream ice cream. Where is this mountain? Asking for a friend. If you know me and ice cream...

Breathing tree trunks wearing a corset and breathing dramatically. So Freud would have a field day with this one, but to my fellow hiker, if there was drama, keep hiking even if the tree is wearing lingerie. Not worth it if it robs you of your peace.

A hiker kept apologizing to the moss carpet he was stepping on because he thought it was tiny green muppets screaming. A million midget Kermits.

Other Wildlife Encounters include.

A hiker became locked in a 10-minute intense staring contest with a judgmental squirrel, convinced it was a tiny, disapproving British judge. Why does it seem all of the animals are judging us.

A deer standing perfectly still in the brush was perceived as a government spy wearing a tiny, invisible earpiece. The next Robert Ludlum thriller, the Bourne Bambi.

A row of caterpillars moving along a branch looked like they were dancing in perfect synchronization at a music festival. This guy was at Bonaroo, not on a trail.

A large, mossy boulder looked so exactly like a plush living room sofa that a hiker tried to sit on it and fluff the "cushions."

A dirt path appeared to flow forward like a grocery store conveyor belt, making the hiker feel like they were walking in place. I have heard that same complaint on some of my hikes. They appear to be longer than my write-up says. Must be the shrooms, you guys.

Low-hanging fern leaves looked like tiny green hands waiting to give the hiker a high-five as they walked past. I get the spider webs instead. That would really freak the mushroom-enhanced hikers.

I realized after reading some accounts of their trip in the woods, pun intended, that this is why I stay away from the stuff. I can't imagine where my mind would go.